Pit goes to the store
by Yort the third
Summary: Pit sets off for a grand adventure to the store... I know it's stupid but this is all I have to work with.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey. Here's another story for the world to read...Yay**

**Any-who, I wanted to try a different style with this fic so like always, tell me what you think and what I need to improve on.**

**Enough of me. Onto the story. **

* * *

**Pit goes to the store**

Hidden high up above the clouds, a city in the sky called... Skyworld, floated peacefully up in the air, how no one noticed a giant city in the air I'll never know.

Anyway, the city has been around for about... Hold on let me get my calculator and add this up...Hmm...Carry the 2... About thousands of years, roughly.

The city had many houses, hot springs and temples for Centurions to enjoy. What are Centurions you may ask? Well they are creatures that look like very buff humans (some more than others) that wore golden armour, all the time, and have small white wings on their helmets they use to fly...I assume, for all I know they could just be for show.

This was a very peaceful place to live in, if you ignore the occasional demon invasions of course but that only happens every three weeks so you don't have to worry about it too much.

But the city was not just inhabited by Centurions, in the palace that rested at the highest point of Skyworld lived a busy goddess with a good sense of humor and a happy-go-lucky angel who has more than once saved the earth and Skyworld. (Three to be exact)

As the goddess was busy checking up on the world through her magic pool of water (Don't ask) the angel was in his room that was on the second floor of the temple, fast asleep after a busy day of racing Pitto in the heavens.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

Who said that!... Anyway, Pit's (Yeah, I'm sick of calling him angel) alarm began to ring, playing Zelda's Lullaby waking the passed out angel.

"ZZZ"

...Err...I said! Waking the passed out angel!

"ZZZ, Oh Phosphora stop, I'm not that hansom, heh heh...oh stop, your making me blush."

...That's it; I'm throwing my shoe at him.

"ZZZ AH! Don't kill me I don't to die in my pajamas!" Pit jumped up and frantically swinging his pillow around like a weapon.

When he realised no one was violently stabbing him the chest, he started to calm down and lowered his 'weapon'. "Oh...well it's a good thing no one was trying to kill me, or there would be one less demon thanks to my-" He jumped out of bed and started twirl his pillow like a nun-chuck. "SUPPER TRIPLE PILLOW KONG-FU OF AWESOME!"...No comment.

Pit let out a yarn then preceded to scratch his butt. "Well, I better start changing up my clothes, don't want lady Palutena to see her number one angel in his PJ's now do we."

He removed his to embarrassing to describe pyjamas. Although he didn't need to change since he always wears his toga under his PJ's before going to bed, sorry girls (and some guys) no fan-service here.

"There, now that I'm dressed and ready to face the world with pride and well...More pride, since that's all anyone really needs." Sure, keep telling yourself that. "I think I'm going to go out there and try something new and different instead of keeping up with the same old boring routine." So Pit ran to his storage chest, opened that baby up, reached in and...

**uh nuh nuh nuh nanananananan NAANANANANA NUH!****NUH! NUH! NUH!**

**YOU GOT THE T.V GUIDE!**

**Now you can know what is on anywhere at any-time, don't you just feel special.**

...He pulled out a T.V guide... WHAT! How is that doing something new and different! "Yep, I think it's time to look for something new to watch, I'm sick of reruns of 'Pikachu P.I', I need something fresh and interesting, a new take on life..." … "Well my T.V viewing life."

Oh, that's fine! Look for a stupid T.V show to watch, it's not like we have a story to tell or anything, no epic adventures to go on NO! This is much more interesting! If you excuse me, I'm just going to bang my head at a wall for a minute or so.

"Let's see... 'How Samus got her proton gun back' No, I've seen that already... 'That's so Lucas' Na, sounds too depressing for my taste... 'Miku's birthday gift' Ack! Sounds terrible..." If you can't tell, Pit is reading some of the shows names to himself. Now please leave me in peace so my head can make friends with this wall.

"Hey!" Huh? Is something, interesting finally happening. "A brand new show is starting today, must be my lucky day." …Well that's what I get for hoping. "'The Sopraios, a story about rival mobsters trying to take over each other's territory one fire flower at a time'" He read the description with intrigue, wasting every-one's time.

"Now that's sounds like a show good old me could get behind." You do that. "Let's see, the premiere starts at 9:30 and its 9:28, so that leaves me..." He used his figures to try and calculate the time. "AH! Three minutes to catch the show!" You only have two, but what do I care, at least something is happening even if it is stupid.

"Gotta catch my show! Gotta catch my show! Gotta catch my show!" He raved like a mad man as he ran down the halls, crashing into a bunch of fruit stands along the way…Wait, why were there fruit stands in the palace?

"Because me and Palutena just looooveee our fruit." … Stop braking the fourth wall Pit. "Oh sorry, let me just get back into character *Ahem* Gotta catch my show!"

… Anywho, he made it to the magic water pool room just in time to catch his show. "Gotta catch my…" But to his dismay, someone else was already occupying the water. "Lady Palutena?" Yeah, her.

"Oh, morning Pit." The lovely lady tilted her head back, greeting Pit with a sweet smile. "It's a surprise to see you up so early."

"Hey! I…I wasn't sleeping." My shoe says otherwise. "I was just…Creatively meditating…With my eyes closed…While lying down…In a bed." Stop, just stop, you're not good at lying.

Palutena faced Pit completely with her hands on her hips. "Yeah, or as normal people would call it, sleeping."

Pit turned away, crossed his arms and started to pout. "Must you word it like that?" Yes, yes she does. "Anyway, can I use the magic pool for about an hour or two?"

"Oh sorry Pit, but I need it to monitor the human world, even though Hades is dead; his under world army are still trying to steal human souls." Ah, sweet sweet exposition.

"Really? Their still stealing souls, man they really need to take up a hobby, like netting or something?" Even though most of them have don't have arms.

"Yeah, but if you try introducing it to them they will be all like. 'GERRR ME SMASH PUNNY ANGEL!' ...Err nice 'acting' there Palutena.

"Umm, I don't think the under world troops can form coherence sentences." Finally, something me and angel boy here can agree on. "Even if they could I don't think they would be that loud." He said under his breath.

Palutena huffed. "You have no imagination do you pit?" She shook her head and let out a sigh. "That's not the point, the point is while I can't let you watch your show I can record it if that's okay with you?"

"Yeah I guess, but now I have nothing to do to pass the time." Pit let out a sigh. "I guess I'll just go back to bed." Oh great, what a pointless endeavour this was.

**The end **

**Hopefully the next story Yort post's won't be so stupi-**

"Hold on a second." Ah! The story is still going?

..Suddenly Palutena started looking angrily in the distance... Oh wait she's looking at me!...Er um...Pit stopped in his tracks and faced Palutena... "...Since you have nothing better to do, could you do your good pal a favour?" She asked the dense lad.

"Sure, but I don't know where Pitto is?" *Badum tish*

Palutena shook her head. "Ha, funny." Can you just feel the lack of amusement. "Seriously Pit, are you going to help me or not?"

"Of- Of course I will, I was just having a little fun that's all." Pit scratched the back of his head, embarrassed, as well as having an awkward smile. "So what is it you need from your awesome and might I add hansom solder? Battle hordes of underworld demons, go on an epic journey to fight an epic boss or teach that no good Hades another lesson with these bad boys." He started to flex his muscles like a fool, further making me question why I accepted this job.

Palutena smiled sincerely. "Your really pumped up aren't you?"

"Heck yeah! I'm ready to take on anything!"

"Really? Even if it's the most dangerous journey you ever embarked upon?"

"The dangerouser the betterer!" Half of that wasn't even real words.

"EVEN!...If you lose both your arms?"

Pit looked distraught with a cold sweet running down his cheek. "But, but I use those for many attended and non attended purposes." He gazed at his hands remembering all the good times they had together...For some reason? He clamped his fingers together coming to terms with the fact he could be become the first disabled Nintendo hero. " I would gladly sacrifice lefty and righty if it means helping the people in peril. Though I'm praying it doesn't come to that."

She leaned closer to Pit getting right in his face. "Are you surrrre about that?"

"Yeah I'm sure!"

"Really? Cause I don't think your sure enough."

"I highly disagree with your lack of sureness when it comes to me being sure about... The... Sureness... Of me being sure to er..."

"..."

…

"...Just tell me what the mission is." Pit asked post-haste ending all our misery.

"O-okay." Palutena shook off her confusion and continued on like nothing happened. (Wish I was that lucky) "Here it is Pit!" She screamed louder than an announcer at a monster truck rally. "Your mission is..."

Pit looked on as a hungry puppy would look at dangling meat, begging for it to fall. Or in this case, the mission to be announced.

"IS..."

Um, yeahhhh me and angel dork over here are still waiting for the mission to be announced, so could you kindly hurry up already.

"IS..."

GET ON WITH IT!

"To pick up a six-pack of 1-up in a can deluxe from the store for me?"

"...WHAT!"

WHAT!

**To be contin-**

Wait what! I was promised this would only be a oneshot!

And really? The quest is to go to a store! I know it was in the title and all, but I was told it was deep meteor for growing up! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN GO THE STORE YET!

AH!

You know what forget this! I Quit! GOODBYE!

Six years of narrating school wasted on this garbage.

**...To be continued?**

I could have done Shakespeare.

* * *

**I'll try working on chapter 2 as soon as I can. **

**No promises though since life and laziness loves to get in my way. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Huh? No reviews...I'll take that as a good sign**

**BRING IN THE FINAL CHAPTER!**

* * *

**Pit goes to the store**

**Final chapter**

Can't believe I'm back because of a *Beeping* obligatory contract. Anyway, since I'm here (not of my own free will mind you) I might as well tell the rest of this ridicules story.

So last chapter, a lot unimportant stuff happened leading Pit to go to the convince store or whatever, I don't even care to remember why.

He flew...epicly? (Who writes this trite?) across Skyworld, hoping to find the store. "Eh remind me? Why am I going to the store again?" I'm not surprised he forgot.

"I told you Pit." Palutena contacted Pit through... His thoughts or something? Look the point is she's in his head okay.(Not literally) "To pick up some 1-up deluxe for me, seriously your acting like our conversation took place more than a mouth ago." Shhhhhh.

"Ha ha, sorry I guess my head wasn't really in the game."

"Well it should be, picking up soda is very serious business."

"It is?" The angel asked as he batted some cloud, stuff out of his face.

"Of course it is. Do you think the Greeks would have won against the Persians if it wasn't for their secret soda stash." Oh now that's just bull.

"Um... Not to sound like an egg head, but didn't the Greeks win because of superior battle tactics and armor as well as the many other factors that weighed into the their victory." I can't believe I'm saying this, but the angel is completely right.

"No no, that's just what the historians what you to believe. Trust me when I say it was the soda, I was around during those times after all." I... I have no words for this.

"Er...Sure Palutena, I'll take your word for it." He lied to keep the goddess happy as well as sparing everyone's sanity. Seriously, did Pit and Palutena switch places in the brain department while I ws gone or something?

"That's not a good thing Pit, I am lying after all." Oh, that explains it.

Pit was not amused. "You should really stop messing with my head." That's not a hard thing to accomplish.

"No. It's your own fault for believing in such a stupid story. I mean really, winning a battle because of soda? That's just silly. " She quickly retaliated. "Also pit, you just flew past the store."

"Huh?" Angel dork stopped dead in his tracks and swung around to see that he was...10 MILES AWAY! How do you miss a building by that much? He groaned having to make that extra trip back. "You know Lady Palutena, you can be such a troll sometimes."

"What are you on about Pit, I don't live under a bridge?" ...I can't tell if she's just continuing messing with her angel friend or she really doesn't understand internet lingo.

Ba! Who cares! Lets just skip ahead already.

**The store**

In the middle of Skyworld floated a run down old shop named...Shop? (Seriously?) The letter P dangling by a thread and the walls gratified with statements such as. 'L=1' 'I was Mega once' 'OBJECTION!' and many others.

Though this existing in the first place is odd giving the beauty of this world, but what am I to argue with the writer's 'brilliant' vision. (I hate my life)

Any-who, Pit rushed on in not taking notice of the dangling P (Shut up) he flew past, the wind generated from his wings was enough to knock it of the building thus sending crashing to the earth making this narrator feel sorry for the person standing in it's path.

The angel landed safely on the tiled floor and thoroughly began scanning the area. "WHHHAAAOOOOO!" Taken back by the bright lights, noisy shoppers and commercialized products. He began running around frantically, awing at every pretty box and container he can find totally forgetting the reason he was here in the first place.

"Do you see what I am seeing! It's so cool!" He went on like he'd never been to a store before. "I can believe I never thought of coming here before." Oh, well that explains it. "So what was it you wanted again?" He asked the goddess, and got no response. "...Er Lady Palutena? Are you there? Lady Palutana!" Still noting. "Great! Lost communication. Just like the time I was eaten by Hades." He looked around nervous. "I just hope no annoying heart boss is lurking around here."

With Pit at a loss with what he was supposed to pick up and with no way to contact the goddess and remind him of his very simple task, he decided the best of action would be to- "Hey! Mr narrator guy!" What? I told you not to break the fourth wall! "I know but hear me out?" ...Fine, what do you want? "I was thinking, since I need to pick up what ever I needed for Lady Palutana and you want this story to be over as fast as possible, I say we work together as a team and find that Macguffn!"

...This is highly unorthodox...Okay!I'll help, if only to move this dumb story along faster. "Great!" Pit shouted with an unhealthy amount of enthusiasm. "Let's get started. Tell me what I am looking for again?" A box of 1-up deluxe. "Right..." Pit started to ponder. "There might be a problem with the plan."

If you need to know where the soda is, go look for it yourself you lazy angel. "No that's not the problem." Oh? "Well... This is embarrassing but... I don't know how to read." ...You don't know how to read. "Palutana is teaching me, but all I know are my Q and U's!" Oh for crying out loud. Do you know what a 1-Up looks like? "Yeah, it's that green thing that plumber likes to eat."

Good, now- "Between you and me, I think he has a addiction and really needs to find some help." ...Focus! "Oh right sorry." Now as I was saying, go look in the drinks aisle and find the box with a green mushroom on it. You got that? "Yes indeedy, be back before you can say hot springs." He flew off in a flash disregarding the other shoppers in his path.

"Let's see..." Pit soon scanned the isles in a vain attempt to find that stupid soda. "'Food isle' No 'pet isle' No. 'Floor ice cream isle' Oh, better keep note of that for later." 'Floor ice cream?' "Aha! Drinks!" The winged boy made a sharp turn left knocking over a sign in the progress... He should really watch where he's going.

It took the angel a few seconds but he finally found it. "The 1-up deluxe! Right in the cross pass of my pupils." Lucky for him, it was the last pack on shelf.

"Now for the difficult task of reaching for the soda, firmly grasping it with my two hands and pulling it close to my chest telling all around that it's my property." So much detail about hand grabbing... I'm suspicious.

"...Huh?" As soon Pit grabbed the soda, an old Centurion also got his grubby hands grasped on to the soda. The angel tried pulling the item out of his hands but the brute didn't even budge causing the lad to run out of breath. "HEY! LET GO OF THAT! I SAW IT FIRST!" The frustration started getting to the angel, which I find hilarious.

"Oh really now?" The buffed up fiend showed no fear. "Well make me then."

Pit grained, surprisingly eager to fight the citizen. "Okay then, you asked for it." He pulled one of his palm weapons out of hammer space and dramatically posed. "I AM PIT! SERVANT OF LADY PALUTANA! PROTECTOR OF THE PEOPLE! I HAVE SAVED THE WORLD FROM HADES AND EATEN QUESTIONABLE THINGS OFF THE GROUND! AND YOU! YOU MY FRIEND HAVE MADE ME MAD! PREPARE FOR MY WRATH!" What is with him and loud speeches.

The two charged at one and other ready to pummel each-other just for a few cans of soda. The fight would be glorious...But I'm not going to tell it. Why? You ask scratching your head with confused rage. Well it would be long and the author isn't paying me enough to tell it.

So we're going to check on how Palutana's demon hunt has been going. (Properly better than the crud I've been dealing with)

Intensely did the goddess stare into the pool that monitored the human world like a live satellite that watched over the earth, leaving one to wonder what mayhem she has witnessed in that reflecting water. "...Come on...Use your up B..."

"LUIGI WINS!" A voice echoes through the halls.

"YES! GO GREEN 'STACHE! YEAR OF LUIGI BABY!" ...Oh, she was just watching the latest smash bros tournament this whole time...

You know what, I change my mind. Let's go back and see how Pit's own brawl is going.

Back in the store we see the fight has ended surprisingly fast with the angel's foe knocked out in a puddle of soda . Actually now that I take a proper look; the whole aisle is covered in soda... PIT! Explain yourself!

"Well you see." The idiot scratched the back of his head rightfully embarrassed. "Our battle got a little out of hand." Define little? "The 'bullets flying everywhere hitting soda cans spilling soda everywhere' kind of little." That's not little in the slightest. "Yeah I know." He lowered his head in shame.

"And one more thing to note." Yeah? "You see all that soda on the floor?" You mean the one you have to be a blind, deaf and stupid to miss. "Yeah that one." Okay, what about it? "Well...Somewhere hiding in that sea of stickiness is the remains of the 1-Up Deluxe." I could have guessed.

So pit, what is the plan now? "I've been thinking about that and I've come up with two plans." Okay, shoot. "Plan A: I take my punishment like a man, or Plan B: I fake my death and live out the rest of my days in an obscure Nintendo Ip that will never get another game."

...I'd go with plan A if I was you, only because it's the mature choice. "But, that's the hurty one." PIT! "Okay-Okay, I'll go with plan A. Geez, you don't have to be so rude."

Before he could follow my advice, a faint sound of someone whistling could be heard which caught the angel's attention. The mysterious music started drawing closer and closer.

The upbeat whistling stopped when another Centurion wearing a pair of glasses that barely rested on his nose appeared from around the corner. "...WHAT THE UNDERWORLD!" He shouted drawing his eyes to the confused angel soaking his feet in soda. "DID YOU DEFILE MY STORE!"

"You-Your store?" The quivering lad inquired. "This may sound like a dumb question but are you by any chance be the owner of this establishment?" The man...Err Centurion replied not with words, but with stem of hate pumping out his nose. "...I'll take that as a yes."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" In a fit of 'ah' the manager garbed Pit around his waist with one hand almost crushing the lad... Ouch.

"Ah! Hey! Stop-squeezing-there! I need that to store my food!" ...That sounds so wrong even in context.

The brute ignored the (questionable) protest, his ugly mug was more than enough to convey how ticked off he was. "YOU MISSARABLE LITTE ANGEL! LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO MY BEAUTIFUL FLOOR!" He rubbed Pit's nose in the mess as one would do to show a pet they did wrong. And by rub I mean pound and by nose I meant his entire body

***SMASH*** "AH STOP!" ***MORE SMASH*** "OW! I CAN TASTE BLOOD!" ***EVEN MORE SMASH*** "CAW! No wait, that's just the soda." Noticing the Centurion was starting to get tired; Pit immediately tried reasoning with the under paid worker. "Okay! Look, I know your very mad that I stained your floor, given the fact that you almost broke every bone in my body and all." Suck it up Pit, you're a Nintendo character, they won't allow you to have any broken bones. "But I'm willing to make it up to you by cleaning up this mess. It's my duty as a hero after all."

Reasoning was a lost cause, judging by the unchanging attitude of the angry, angry freak. "You don't get it do you? MY FARTHER DIED BUILDING THIS FLOOR! YOU CAN'T SIMPLY SCRUB AWAY THE DISRESPECT!"

"...Oooooookay, this guy is nuts and not in the tasty variety." That maybe so, but that doesn't change the fact his crushing you as we speak. "...Could you at least pretend to give me hope?" No.

"AHHHHHHH!" Having enough of the angel's face, he swung arm as one would pitch a ball and sent him flying out the store.

"WWWWWOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHH! NOT THE G FORCE AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN N!"

" AND DON'T COME BACK!" When no one was looking, the Centurion kneeled down and started caressing the stained floor. "Don't worry daddy,I avenged you from that horrible angel. Now you can rest in peace in super market heaven once again." … Okay this getting awkward and...Wait a minute? Something is off here. Give me a second. (Brings up wiki page) … A ha! It says right here that Centurions can revive from the dead; great job getting your info right Yort, continue to show your incompetence to the world.

...Whatever, this train wreck is almost over so let's just power through it.

Forced out of the store; Pit now fell to his death since their was no ground under the store which in hindsight, was a dumb idea on the owner's part. "AH, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! THIS IS NOT GOOD! THIS NOT GOOD!" You may be asking why he doesn't just fly to safety? That's simple. He can't... At least, not without Palutena's help.

"Ah, there you are Pit." Speak of the devil, the goddess herself connected the falling angel somehow not taking notice of his screams? Or she's just ignoring them; I don't know, can't tell with her. "Did you get the soda?"

"CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW! FALLING TO DEATH!"

"Huh? How did that happen?"

"AH! REMEMBER ME A HERO!" I just realised. There's a lot of screaming in this chapter.

"...Yeah... I'll just warp you back home." Gee you just thought of that.

So, before Pit could end up as an angel pancake, a heavenly light shined from above snatching the lad from certain Thanatos. (Errgh)

**Back at the palace**

In a flash of a very blinding light, Pit appeared six feet of the ground. Braking the old cartoon rule of not looking down, he started panicking and began to flail like a mad man with predictable results. ***BANG*** "Ow."

"So... I see you didn't get the soda." The goddess stood over the body that lied face first on the shiny floor.

"_Ah oh." _Springing quickly to his knees, Pit shuffled over to Palutena and bowed down at her feet; hoping not to be beheaded or whatever punishment they dish out in Skyworld. "I'm so-sossoso sorry Lady, I tried getting the soda but I was attacked by a very large and very angry Certain, we fought , soda went everywhere, the narrator kept distracting me with his unfunny and lacking comments." HEY! "And then I...was?" Just before he could finish, he opened his eyes and noticed a stack of that stupid soda was sitting in the corner...Which made this whole story pointless... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! "Err, Lady?"

"Yes Pit, I know what you're going to ask, and yes, that is a stack of 1-up deluxe you are seeing." Pit and I was about to lose it, but apparently the evil goddess had more to say. "But I only received these a few seconds ago."

"Huh?" My thoughts exactly. "Wait; do you mean, someone just sent you a bunch of soda?"

"Not just anyone Pit." Oh I have a bad feeling about this. "There from Viridi." Oh, I thought it was Hades, guess my feeling was wrong.

"VIRIDI? Why would she just give you, or anyone soda?" You know thinking about this in great dental, it's kind of weird hearing about mythical Greek characters talking about soda...Then again; Floor ice cream.

"I don't know, she just came here out of the blue saying that a little bird told her that I needed soda and gave me some. Then she went on about how she only gave them to me because they took up space and not because she likes me or anything while blushing like crazy." And thus the ship has set sail, I was wondering when Yort was going to force a yuri couple into this story. "It was weird...But cute." Could you be any less subtle?

"So let me get this straight." Oh Pit, I forgot you were here. "I almost got beat up, fell to my death and missed a cool show all for nothing?"

"Yeah, I guess you did." She said so chipper.

"Err, I'm finished."

And with that, Pit fainted ending this train wreck of a fanfic.

Now that I'm done I suggest leaving many-many negative comments to the author for wasting mine as well as your precious time.

Now if you excuse me, I'm going to take this off my resume.

**The End**

**Meanwhile on earth**

"...So Goal, are we like a couple or something?"

"I don't know Magnus?"

"...Yeah, me neither."

***BANG***

"What the! A giant P... PIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!

* * *

**Dang, that story felt like it took forever to finish. I'm glad it's finished though and I hope you all enjoy.**

**Reminder to self: Kill narrator. **


End file.
